My Own Mr. Darcy Read online

  For Mom,

  Who raised eleven children,

  Baked homemade bread,

  Sewed most of our clothes,

  Made cheese,

  and still managed to find time

  to read to us before bed.

  You loved Darcy and Elizabeth

  Long before I did.

  Thank you for giving them to me.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Author’s Note

  Excerpt from Working It Out

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  THE THEATER WAS nearly empty. It might have been because of the late hour but I suspected it was because this movie was going to be a snoozefest.

  “Darn, they got the best seats,” Mom said, tilting her head toward a row of silver-haired women.

  “Mom, there are plenty of seats,” I said.

  “I know, I know. I just wanted to be right in the center.” Mom started up the dimly lit stairs. We lagged a few steps behind her.

  “What have we gotten ourselves into?” I whispered to Janessa.

  She gave me a stern, best-friend glare and an elbow jab. “Your mom’s excited. Don’t spoil it for her.” I rolled my eyes.

  Janessa and I were the only teenagers in the room. Everyone else was even older than Mom. The five silver-haired women were talking loudly and giggling. They probably didn’t get out much. One of the women held a handbag the size of carryon luggage in her lap and another had a scarf with a jeweled pin that sparkled even in the near darkness.

  There wasn’t a man in sight. No wonder Dad had refused to come.

  “How about here?” Mom said, indicating seats two rows in front of the senior citizen contingency. I looked at Janessa and she shrugged her shoulders. We followed Mom into the row and I planted myself with a sigh into the plush seat. At least the theater was nice—new enough that my seat still had spring and my feet didn’t stick to the floor.

  Mom linked her arm through mine. “Lizzie, you could at least pretend to be having fun. I’m letting you go to a late movie on a school night. Do you think you could muster up a teeny tiny smile?”

  I gave my mom a cheesy, fake smile. She shook her head and laughed and I caved and smiled a real smile. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to come,” Mom said. “You know you were named after the main character.”

  “I thought I was named after Dad’s aunt,” I said.

  Mom waved me off. “Her, too. I wanted to name you Elizabeth after Elizabeth Bennet because she’s strong and smart and confident. All the things I wanted you to become. Dad thought it was silly to name you after a character in a book, especially since our last name is Barrett. I finally got him to agree by reminding him he could tell everyone you were named after his aunt.”

  “Just because I’m named after her doesn’t mean this movie won’t be boring.”

  Janessa elbowed me again. “Come on, Lizzie. This is better than homework. Or being in bed. Thanks for convincing my mom to let me come, Mrs. Barrett.”

  “I’m glad you could join us,” Mom said.

  “You’ll have to tell us how closely it follows the book,” I said.

  Mom looked at me with suspicion. “Just remember, you girls are seeing this movie in addition to reading the book. Not instead of reading it.”

  “Of course, we’ll read it,” Janessa said.

  The truth was I had no intention of reading the book. I’d started it three times since Mr. Malloy gave us the reading list and I just didn’t get it. The words made no sense and by the third page, I was lost. I was depending on this movie and the Internet to give me all the information I’d need to ace this unit.

  “I’m serious. Lizzie? You girls promise me you’re going to read the book or we’ll leave right now. I won’t help you cheat.” I stared at a woman with an unusually large smile on the screen. I guess her oversized white teeth were supposed to entice us to visit Dr. Stonesmith’s office for free teeth whitening. “Are you going to read the book, Lizzie?” The screen changed to a lawyer with perfect helmet-hair who could defend my rights if I was hurt in an auto accident. “Lizzie?”

  “You know I always end up reading the books, Mom. I’m a good student. That’s why I’m in Honors English.”

  “We’ll read it together, Mrs. Barrett,” Janessa said.

  Satisfied, Mom settled back into her seat. “You’re going to love it. I’ve read it every few years since I was your age. And I’ve seen the 6-hour mini-series at least three times,” Mom said. “This is going to be fun.”

  I enjoy a good romance and Mom assured me this was, but I preferred romances that took place in the twenty-first century. I’d seen a couple of movies made in the eighties and nineties that I liked, but only a couple. Mr. Malloy had told us Pride and Prejudice was a classic romance from the early nineteenth century.

  That was two-hundred years ago!

  Jane Austen may have been a talented writer, but what did anyone from two-hundred years ago know about romance? And Mom. Sitting here in her mom-jeans and a pale blue polo shirt, Mom didn’t exactly inspire romantic confidence. She couldn’t even convince Dad to come with her. If this was a romance for the ages, it shouldn’t have been difficult to persuade the love of her life to sit beside her in a dark theater for an hour and a half.

  When Dad had refused for the tenth time, Mom turned to me. Lucky for her, Pride and Prejudice was next on our reading list or it would have taken a hefty bribe to get me here, whether I was named after this Elizabeth or not. Thank goodness for Janessa. At least sitting through the movie would give us something we could laugh about later.

  The lights dimmed and the previews began. I nestled down in my seat and propped my feet up in front of me.

  I have a theory about previews. I think you can tell a lot about a movie by the previews they show before it and if my theory held up, we were in trouble. The first trailer was for a movie about a Scottish cyclist with bi-polar disorder. Fun! The star was cute but the movie looked dismal. The second starred Russell Crowe as a greedy businessman who learns the meaning of life when he travels to Europe to sell a vineyard. Ugh. Riveting stuff.

  The movie opened with some pretty scenes of the English countryside and a piano song so gentle and lilting, it could have put me to sleep. Elizabeth walked across the meadow reading. I’d seen Keira Knightley in Bend it Like Beckham and she looked even prettier here. There was a houseful of girls and a silly mother. There was a father that liked to tease the mother. And woo hoo! The new guy was single and rich and he was going to be at the dance.

  Soon a crowd of poorly dressed country folk was dancing to some lively music. It was crowded and noisy and I could imagine the room probably smelled bad.

  And then something happened—both on the screen and inside me. I took my feet off the seat in front of me an
d leaned forward. The new guy and his friend had just walked into the dance. Mr. Bingley was smiley and charming and cute in a goofy way, but I hardly noticed him. His friend was Mr. Darcy.

  And Mr. Darcy was magnificent.

  Sure, he was surly and dour. But he was tall and imposing. He looked around the room with contempt and while his mouth said boorish things about the local girls, his eyes were drawn toward Elizabeth.

  Blue eyes. Interesting eyes. Expressive eyes.

  The rest of the movie I was enchanted. I ached for it to go on and on and dreaded the moment it would end. Every time Mr. Darcy was on the screen, I melted. When he looked at Elizabeth, I couldn’t breathe. When he helped her into the carriage, I gripped the armrest a little tighter. When he danced with her my heart stopped beating for a second. He was the most intriguing man I’d ever seen.

  Did I mention Mr. Darcy’s eyes?

  And then they argued in the rain and they were so passionate and the place was so beautiful. I knew every daydream I’d ever dreamed would have to be re-imagined to include those giant, mossy pillars and that vast, green countryside. Even the rain was romantic.

  I wondered if they’d kiss. I wanted them to kiss. The anticipation of it all was killing me and I considered asking mom how it would end just to ease my mind, but I couldn’t let her know how much I was enjoying this movie she’d had to drag me to. Mr. Darcy leaned in so close I don’t know how they didn’t kiss. His feelings were so obvious in his eyes I don’t know how Elizabeth could stand it.

  And then Elizabeth refused him. How could she? Just kiss her! She’d be putty in his hands if he’d just kiss her. But he didn’t and when he left and she collapsed against the wall, I wanted to cry.

  Oh no! I was going to cry. I couldn’t cry at this movie. That would be far too embarrassing. I blinked hard and fast.

  It took much too long for Mr. Darcy to reappear on the screen. Okay fine. It wasn’t that long, but it felt much too long. He was so quiet and hard to read, but when he was with his sister, he was happy and he smiled.

  Oh my goodness. That smile. And I wanted to float away in his eyes.

  I loved this movie and it was going to end much too quickly. Finally Mr. Bingley, who turned out to be more adorable than goofy proposed to beautiful Jane. And then there was the hateful aunt. Rich snob! No wonder Mr. Darcy was so arrogant. And then Elizabeth couldn’t sleep because she knew she was in love with Mr. Darcy, so she went for an early morning walk in the meadow.

  The meadow.

  During the forty-five seconds that Mr. Darcy walked across the meadow, my life changed. Each long stride he took toward me—I mean Elizabeth—lodged itself in my heart and I would never be the same. The mist, the sunrise, the trench coat, and the sweet declaration of his love melded into the most beautiful few minutes I’d ever seen and I was bewitched body and soul.

  I felt a terrible emptiness when the movie ended. Mom and Janessa started talking almost immediately but I didn’t listen to them. I sat perfectly still, listening as the piano music filled my soul.

  When the lights came up, I followed Mom and Janessa out of the theater to the chilly, almost-empty parking lot. “Did you like it?” Mom asked. I nodded. “What about you, Janessa?”

  “It was much better than I thought it would be,” she said. “At least I’m not dreading the book so much now.”

  “You’ll love the book,” Mom said.

  “I’ll understand it better now that I’ve seen the movie,” Janessa said. “Lizzie? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You have a funny look on your face.”

  I shook myself back to the present. “No, you have a funny look on your face.” Maybe sarcasm could rescue me. I couldn’t let them know how utterly transformed I was.

  Janessa shook her head. “Whatever.”

  That night I couldn’t fall asleep. Something had happened to me. I was no longer the person I’d been just a few short hours ago. I didn’t think about Jake from the soccer team, the boy who’d been my crush for the last six months. I no longer cared if he noticed me or not. He was just a boy, after all.

  That night a dream was born. I’d discovered what I wanted, what I knew someday I must have. I knew I could never be satisfied until I found it.

  I wanted my own Mr. Darcy.

  JANESSA WALKED INTO the kitchen stretching like a cat awakened after a century of slumber. Even in the morning, with her short, dark hair sticking up in all directions, she was beautiful. Janessa was the much prettier half of our best-friends duo. Her blue eyes and fair skin seemed lit from within, ethereal almost. My light, wavy hair and the freckles across my nose and cheeks would never inspire people to call me beautiful. Cute was the word most often used, if anyone commented on my looks at all.

  “Oh, you’re still here,” she said. “I thought you’d be gone to work already.” Janessa was a manager at Urban Elegance, a boutique women’s clothing store in the mall. She didn’t have to be to work until nearly ten so I was usually gone before she got up.

  “I needed a good breakfast this morning. There’s a teller meeting during lunch and Delia always orders the worst food. I may not get anything decent to eat until tonight.”

  “How was your big date yesterday? I wanted a full report but you were already asleep when I came in.” Janessa pulled out a bowl and rattled through the spoons. Everything she did in the kitchen made noise. Even by herself, she sounded like an entire staff of energetic sous chefs. She loudly shuffled through a half dozen boxes of cereal before settling on Cheerios.

  “It was fine but it wasn’t a big date. It was lunch.”

  “Was there potential?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “What was wrong with this one?”

  “Who said there was anything wrong with him?”

  “You don’t have a list of objections for me?” Janessa raised one eyebrow, a talent I couldn’t master no matter how hard I tried.

  “I don’t have objections about everyone I date,” I said.

  “So when are you going out again?”

  “Probably never.”

  “So there was something wrong with him.” Janessa said.

  “No, there wasn’t. He was a perfect gentleman,” I said.

  “Then why don’t you want to go out with him again?” I shrugged. “Listen Lizzie. Any guy who gets up the courage to ask a girl out at the grocery store should get a few bonus points. Go out with him again.”

  Last week I’d been standing in the Asian aisle of the grocery store picking up some curry paste and coconut milk. “Do you actually drink coconut milk?” a tall, cute guy asked.

  “I suppose you could but I don’t know anyone who does. I use it for chicken curry.”

  “Sounds interesting. You like Indian food?”

  “It’s actually Thai.”

  “I haven’t had Thai food for years. I don’t know why. I think I liked it.”

  “I start craving it at least once a month. Sometimes I get it from Pok Pok and sometimes I make it myself.”

  “Pok Pok?” he’d asked.

  “It’s over on Division Street. If you like Thai, you should try it. The food is amazing.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. I’m Chad, by the way.” I shook his outstretched hand. I couldn’t help but smile. It was cute that he’d shake my hand in the grocery store.

  “I’m Lizzie.”

  “Nice to meet you, Lizzie. I’m just stocking up on ramen.” He waved a little plastic pouch of ramen and put it back in his basket.

  “Ramen has its place,” I said.

  “I agree. It makes a quick and easy lunch.” We looked at each other for a moment longer than was comfortable. He smiled a slightly crooked smile. “Well, I guess I’ll take my ramen and run. Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll have to try Pok Pok sometime.”

  “Sure.” I watched as he walked away. When he reached the end of the aisle, he turned around and walked back to me.

  “I just have to ask.
Would you mind if I called you sometime? Maybe we could meet for lunch or something?”

  “Oh, um . . .” He was cute and earnest but I could already tell there was no future.

  “Unless you’re not available. You probably have a boyfriend, right?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “Then can I call you?”

  “Uh, sure. I guess so.”

  “Great.” Chad handed me his cellphone and I punched in my number. “Thanks. I’ll be in touch.” He put his phone back in his pocket and shook my hand again before he left.

  He’d called me two nights ago. We’d met for lunch yesterday.

  “I just wasn’t interested,” I said to Janessa. “Can we leave it at that?”

  Janessa folded her arms and looked at me for so long I started to squirm. “What?”

  “I wish you’d look at yourself. You’re ruining your life with this stupid obsession.”

  “I’m not obsessed.” I stood up quickly, nearly tipping my chair over. I rinsed my plate and put it in the dishwasher. I could feel Janessa’s eyes on me the entire time, but I refused to look at her. “And just because I’m not interested in this guy doesn’t mean my life is ruined.”

  “Let me guess. Was he blond?”

  “Knock it off.”

  “Too short?”

  “He wasn’t short. I’ve got to go.” I left the kitchen with Janessa on my heels.

  “Was he too cheerful?”

  “Oh brother. I’m not having this conversation with you.”

  Janessa grabbed my arm and turned me toward her. “Yes, you are.”

  “I’m going to be late for work.”

  “Then we’d better talk fast.”

  “I don’t have anything to say,” I said.

  “Then I’ll talk. You listen. You have to start giving these guys a chance.”

  I folded my arms tightly. “I give them a chance.”

  “You give them one date, two at the most. But you’re not really giving them a chance because your mind’s already made up before you even go out.”

  I was getting annoyed. “I don’t have time for this conversation again.” Janessa was practically reciting word for word what she’d said after my last date. And the one before that.